Monday, May 31, 2004
I have temporarily lost the ability to feel. I have seen countless people go through the same thing, but nothing prepared me for this moment. It was all so sudden. I have gone past disbelief, shock, anger, pain, and sorrow. I have lost him, and I feel as though nothing was left of me.
I am almost afraid to go back to Butuan. I am terrified at the thought of stepping into his room, where we have spent countless nights talking about the God, speculating about what He has planned for the family. We would watch the sunset on the porch every night, and we would talk some more. We have lived with no one but each other for three months, but we never got tired of being with each other. We never ran out of things to talk about, and even in silence, I would feel warm and safe in his presence.
It will take a lot of time before my life goes back to normal. The best I can hope for is for me to be numb through it all.
About the Author
I have quit trying to figure out the inner workings of God's mind. I have learned to just sit back and enjoy the ride.
Piazza
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